A Fly Experience

It's customary for one to believe that you learn the bulk of what you need to learn in the college classroom, and I can't lie, I was one of those believers. I came into college with the wrong attitude. I honestly believed that when I went to college I wouldn't need friends. I purposefully led an anti-social parade of one. The way it went in my mind went as followed:
1. I came to college for an education not a friendship.
2. I already had friends back home I didn't want to be friends with the people there.
3. And that as long as I worried about myself I couldn't fail because I wouldn't get distracted.

The thought pattern I had developed was a negative one. I put myself into this bubble and for the first couple weeks I was silent. I didn't speak in class. I didn't speak to my roommates. I didn't speak to myself. All I had was the thoughts in my own mind and calls from home. I had set myself up to be the loneliest person anyone could ever meet. It got to the point where I started defending my loneliness. A friend of mine had called from home and asked me how I was and how school was going. I told her I'm doing well in school and that things were going well. I guess she knew me too well because the second thing she asked was "Have any new friends?" This in my mind was almost laughable. I told her that I wasn't trying to make new friends here I came to do school work. She didn't take that excuse at all. She started to lecture me about the way that I am. She said " You can't expect everyone to come to you and run to be your friend. You have to be welcoming. It won't hurt to make friends where you are. You really need to stop acting like that because friends will make college go by way more smoothly." I wasn't ready to hear any of this from her I didn't want to be lectured; wasn't that what the professor was paid to do. I quickly cut her off saying something to the effect of I'm fine by myself and I don't need a lesson on how to make friends. Honestly I did. I had so many chances to make friends with people that I didn't take because I wanted to believe that I didn't need anyone. I had exhausted the idea of independence into something totally different I started self ostracizing myself. I didn't view it that way at first but now I see it clearly. After a while I started to notice how much I needed other people and companionship and so I changed my ways and my attitude. I wasn't hurting anyone but myself. I made friends as soon as I realized the path I was leading myself down. Change was in order and I'm glad I made the change because I have wonderful friends in school that I speak to regularly through the summer months and I can't wait to get back to them.